Nauseous euro-love-in for Reuters bureau chief send-off

Farewell, then, Paul Taylor.

The man who, over the last eight years at the helm of Reuters' Brussels bureau was referred to lovingly by his adoring staff as, variously, 'the kebab salesman', 'the walrus of love', or chubby moustachioed porn legend 'Ron Jeremy', is leaving town.

And what a touching orchestrated send-off he received on his final day.

Conspicuous by his presence at the European Commission's daily briefing today, Taylor was clearly expecting a valedictory from the spokesfolks there, as is customary for long-standing pillocks - er, sorry, pillars - of the press room.

Although just to sure he was noticed he sat near the front, plumb in the sightline of the deputizing headspoke, Amadeu Altafaj Tardio.

And to be extra sure of eliciting some last words of praise, he asked a sitter of a question on the commission's position on sovereign wealth funds, and chose sycophantically to ask it:

"... dans la langue de Molière, par amour du français et respect du multilingualisme ..."

("Prétentieux? moi?")

And he was not to be disappointed.

As the briefing drew to a close Altafaj Tardio read from a prepared statement, drafted 'in the language of Shakespeare' but translated on the hoof into French.

The commission paid a "sincere tribute" to Taylor's "work and professionalism", hoping he would "continue to inspire" in his new role as Paris-based columnist for the newswire.

The old spirit of Baron Reuters, who in 1849 dispatched his news with carrier pigeons - waxed the spokesman further - "remains thanks to journalists like you."

As cinemas around Europe see James Bond fend off another contrived international threat, lawyers for the brand today are before the EU courts with a battle of their own on their hands, after rights to the 'Dr No' name fell into the wrong hands.

A small German media marketing firm based out of Munich (and not a bunker beneath some Pacific island volcano) won the right to use 'Dr No' as a brand from everything ranging from nautical instruments to vehicles, handbags, 'whips, harness and saddlery', clothing and drinks.

The company, Mission Productions, is understood however to be planning to licence the name to market products like cigarettes and energy drinks in Europe.

Mission Productions specialises in media and product placement in TV and film, and had done some high-profile placement work with the Bond people in the past.

Quite what happened to prompt Mission Productions to make an opportunistic trademark raid for 'Dr No' in 2001 is beyond BM.

But it turned out the German firm had done its homework: the name of the first, and arguably most famous Bond film, was still in the public domain, as in fact was most of the rest of the Bond canon.

The Bond production company Danjaq snapped up the European trademark rights for its 21 remaining film titles, but Dr.No was already in the clutches of Mission Productions.

It's a true story.

No really.

As someone who has never knowingly been on the mailing list of either organisation, BM was today surprised and delighted to receive two press releases in quick succession.

The first - from Interel Cabinet Stewart Hamish James Geraint (the EU's competent authority, don't you know) - stated:

"Interel appoints new MD for its European Affairs practice

- leading European Corporate Affairs Consultancy Interel today announced the appointment of Benno van der Laan as its new Managing Director for the company's 35 strong European Affairs practice, Interel Cabinet Stewart. Benno is replacing Tom Parker who, after 11 years with the company, is moving on to join Interel's strategic partner in Brussels, Cambre Associates, which is a specialized communications consultancy with which Interel has a close relationship."

So close a relationship in fact, that a mere 109 minutes later, (Bois de la) Cambre Associates retaliated with the inflammatory:

"Press release: Tom Parker joins Cambre

– Cambre Associates is pleased to announce that Tom Parker will be joining the company as a managing partner and head of its public affairs practice. Tom will be joining Cambre as of January following his departure from Interel Cabinet Stewart, where he is currently managing director of the firm's European affairs practice."

Gosh, well, that was worth it. Upon questioning, it was revealed that the entire population of the EU Quarter reacted with utter, utter indifference.

If we're going to be spammed, at least make it interesting...

... with something you wouldn't put on your fridge even if your favourite grandson had done it.

Ah, Europe. The continent that brought us William Morris' arts and crafts movement, Marcel Breuer's chairs, Pininfarini's cars, and other design classics (that the 'monster had to look up on wikipedia).

And now, [*drum roll*]

This!





The winning design for a new, pan-Eurozone commemorative two euro coin to celebrate 10 years of Economic and Monetary Union.

It was created by George Stamatopoulos (age five and a half?), and represents - we are told - that "the euro is the latest step in the long history of trade, from pre-historic barter - evoked by the deliberately primitive design - to economic and monetary union."

It's only ten years, George, not ten million.

BM looks forward to the issue of a set of commemorative notes to go with this coin, and has made its own submission below.

We call the designs, respectively, 'My House', 'Me and Daddy', and 'Daddy's Car'.

Sarko in great form. For the non-French speakers, "casse-toi alors, sale con" means "get yo bitchy little pink ass out of my face, mofo", or thereabouts.

The 'Monster is taking bets that Sarko will be the first to let slip with a little kunardocz